herobox | but what if the sword kills the pen? // GENESIS HAS SOFT SKILLS AU

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but what if the sword kills the pen? // GENESIS HAS SOFT SKILLS AU

"Am I an human being...?"

Sephiroth asks and Genesis knows the answer. He has been waiting for this moment, repeating the words again and again, the truth he holds over his rival, his friend, his... But Sephiroth sounds raw and vulnerable in a way that makes his something between Genesis' ribs twist. He knows Sephiroth, he would dare to say he knows him better than anyone. Angeal didn't engage in petty rivalries, didn't share the spirit of challenge like they did. Angeal didn't burn for him as Genesis did, still does...

Standing there, waiting for his moment to interrupt, he remembers how the fire suddenly became poison and the jealousy still feels like bile on his throat, the same as the pulsing pain on his shoulder, growing impossible to ignore with each day. It was his own sword, and it could have been almost funny if it didn't become a tragedy so fast.

A tragedy indeed...

But there was more. So much more.

It wasn't always envy, or desperation. The desire of wanting to live knowing he was doomed in favor of the person he once idolized. He wants to claw the life out of Sephiroth and drink it all for himself. But it wasn't always like that and that glimpse, that flash of something broken and fearful in Sephiroth reminds Genesis that...

That everything he wanted, once, was to share an apple with him. The forbidden fruit. And those feelings only grew stronger once he was able to meet the real him. And now there he is, at his most vulnerable. Holding the salvation Genesis craves. It would be so easy to snatch that heart for himself.

'I could make you love me,' Genesis thinks. 'Need me, before I disappear."

It's just a couple of seconds after Sephiroth says those words, but Genesis' mind and heart work faster.

He flies into the scene, the scenario is all his. There's other way he can do this, and all eyes are on him.

"You're the one who gets to decide that, old friend."

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Sephiroth looks around.

Underground caverns rich in materia - like in Mt. Nibel. An underground base, lying undetected beneath the smoking ruins of Banora. The two of them had made it here partially by flying, and partially on foot. The last leg of the journey, over the water, had been on Genesis's wing, and Sephiroth views the signs of encroaching degradation in his friend with muted anxiety. They should make sure to give Genesis time to rest.

"I can't believe Shinra never suspected the existence of these caves," Sephiroth muses, stepping forward and turning, inspecting what he can see. They are on the second level, near the underground lake, somewhat outside the chamber with the cells, where Genesis apparently stables his copies. "They were intelligent enough to anticipate that you and Angeal might retreat to your families aboveground, but no one thought there might be natural formations. And these are mako-rich at that. I'm shocked Banora was never appraised as a reactor site."

"It seems like their tunnel vision towards the original purpose of Banora, played in our favor," Genesis smiles, looking around. He is falling into pieces, his skin showing the consequences of the trip, but it hasn't reached his mood yet, nor his eyes.

"I found this place when I was less than a teenager," he laughs. "I've been outsmarting Shinra for a long time now."

He seems pleased with Sephiroth's reaction, too. He looks around as if searching for something specific when a step suddenly becomes more weighted than the step before.

No. Not now.

Genesis stops, frozen in place by the sudden pain irradiating from his shoulder to his limbs, making it impossible for him to take another step. He tries to hide it, to keep his posture rigid (proud, his mother once said), to raise his head, to take another step towards where he knows is the place in which he used to hide when he was a kid--

The universe hates him, that's for sure. He doesn't make it, a low growl escaping his parted lips. Genesis looks about to crumble, without where to support his weight that isn't the fucking ground.

Sephiroth sees Genesis take a step and suddenly tighten, his movements becoming stiff. Is he well? No - Sephiroth is moving towards him at the same time that a growl escapes his lips. He looks like he is about to fall over.

Sephiroth catches him behind his back, sliding one arm around him from the right (trying not to jostle his injured left shoulder), and placing his other hand against Genesis's chest, supporting his torso from both sides.

"You're injured," he says. "We pushed too hard. Here." Moving solo, without calling in vehicular or personnel support, allowed the two most wanted men in the world to avoid Shinra and slip into their stronghold undetected, but the toll it might take on Genesis's health was a gamble, and it seems the wheel of fate has landed poorly for him. Worse, Hollander is dead, and Sephiroth is no physician.

His eyes dart around the cavern. "Tell me how to get to your quarters. We'll walk there."

"Don't exaggerate," He answers like the stubborn fuck he is.

In another moment, he would feel humiliated by this. The amount of vulnerability he's showing to Sephiroth is quite real, an open wound that never heals enough to be a scar, still bleeding and pulsing like the first day. Like when he discovered he was doomed.

But... They're equals now. Sephiroth also showed himself to him, raw and open. There's something shared here. Something that pulses inside Genesis asking for more, like the greedy creature he is.

Genesis doesn't push Sephiroth away.

"... Fine. Let's go," he concedes before showing Sephiroth the path, so they both keep going further down together.

Sephiroth draws Genesis's right arm around his shoulder, so he can support him with both hands. "You lie down and rest," he says, "and I'll get a medkit." Genesis can tell him where those supplies are stored. "Now that I'm here, once you acquaint me with the day-to-day operations, we can share those duties. You'll be able to rest more frequently."

Hopefully, giving Genesis more opportunities to rest his body will help stave off his degradation, or at least slow its progress. Ever since he deserted, Sephiroth can only imagine how hard he's been pushing himself.

(And - with Genesis's arm around his shoulders, his hand around his torso, Sephiroth feels a little thrill at their closeness. He feels warm.)

Genesis huffs, a mean little sound, both mocking and self-deprecating. Him allowing this vulnerability, this closeness, doesn't mean he has to like the context of it. Genesis may not push Sephiroth away, but that feeling of humiliation still makes his throat burn.

"A medkit? Please, nothing helps. I know it well by now, the only thing I can do is wait."

For the pain to go away, for him to get used to it, or maybe for his demise. Who knows. At least Genesis is sure that he can take Shinra down with him with Sephiroth at his side.

(It could be worse. He could be alone, and he allows the proximity by moving his head against Sephiroth as if resting it there, quietly.)

The only thing he can do is wait...

"Ah. Normal painkillers don't work on my body - can I surmise that it's the same for you?" Cruel of Shinra, to breed monsters that can still feel pain with no relief. Another one of Hojo's little inconsistencies, that he chalked up to "mako injections" when Sephiroth asked. How many lies had he been forced to swallow, in lieu of pills, when he hurt?

Genesis's head rests against Sephiroth's shoulder, and Sephiroth's back stiffens. Such an intimate move... his heart flutters slightly in his chest. Could he return it? - But, he has to focus on supporting Genesis. Focus! He swallows, as they approach Genesis's chambers.

"They don't?" He makes a tch sound. How were they all so blind? The signals were everywhere, all the time, for the three of them. He shakes his head. "Not after the degradation started, but before... They weren't much help either. I brushed it aside," thought he was built differently or some stupid excuse that would appeal to his ego.

Then, he notices Sephiroth's reaction to the touch. Weird creature, Sephiroth is. Genesis isn't sure what to do about it, but he isn't a quitter, so he doesn't move away.

They're close, Genesis knew his degradation wouldn't allow him to make long trips after a while, so he settled in one of the front caves, first adapted to be a jail, with space enough for a bed, some equipment, provisions, and books.

Genesis's quarters are a modified cell. Sephiroth helps him sit and settle on the bed. Then, to reduce their height difference and make it easier to speak with him, Sephiroth kneels next to the bed.

(They're so close...)

"Tell me what you need," he says. "Whatever I can do to help."

Sephiroth is kneeling before him. It feels wrong and yet his (poisoned) blood sings. He could help, his cells can help. They merely have to find a way, without Hollander, it will be more difficult, but doable. And if that doesn't work, then Genesis is doomed and they will burn the world together...

That's a reasonable course of thought. Give me your cells, Sephiroth. The logical one. But Genesis' body aches and Sephiroth asked: What do you need?

Genesis doesn't say a word, just leans until his lips brush Sephiroth's, and drunk with pain and desire, he kisses his friend.

Genesis begins leaning towards him, and Sephiroth leans in, concerned he might have lost the strength to speak loudly. (That would be rare, for Genesis.)

Thus, when Genesis reaches forward suddenly, Sephiroth is close, and their lips meet briefly. But not so briefly that Sephiroth could pretend it was an accident.

He -

He kissed him.

That closeness, that Sephiroth craved - the desire that couldn't be spoken -

Genesis kissed him.

Sephiroth, for a moment, fails to return the kiss, his eyes widening in shock.

Then, his eyes fluttering shut, he draws his hand along the far side of Genesis's jaw, turning him towards Sephiroth, pulling him in.

(This is - yes. This is forbidden. This is one of the most urgently forbidden things, perhaps the most.

Shinra owned Sephiroth's body. He was not free to dispose of it, or any parts of it, as he wished. He was certainly not permitted to give his first kiss to anyone before receiving clearance to have a relationship. And certainly not to a man. But now that Sephiroth has slipped his leash - )

Sephiroth has never kissed anyone before, but he has imagined it. And he never imagined it like this. Kneeling before Genesis Rhapsodos.

Sephiroth, for a moment, fails to return the kiss and Genesis dispairs.

Was he wrong? Did he mistakenly read their newfound closeness as something more? And maybe Sephiroth is disgusted by him, by his cracked skin and dry lips. Ah! That must be it, and Genesis will now have to kill him instead of living with the shame. And since Sephiroth is his only hope (not just the cells, no, everything) he will have to kill himself after, but he will make sure no one survives the burning and...

And Sephiroth is kissing him back, now.

The endless stream of consciousness stops, and what follows is silence only filled by the vibrant emotion that moves his every cell: Sephiroth is kissing him, kneeling before him.

Genesis doesn't have time or space on his mind to register the fact that this may be Sephiroth's first kiss, because his hunger is way stronger when he kisses open and wet, pushing away the delicate first movements to make way for something akin to desperation.

Sephiroth was not wrong - Genesis did want this. Judging by the intensity with which he begins to kiss back, he has been holding this desire back for a long time. (All those times their eyes would lock while sparring, all the glances, they were real, they did mean something.)

Sephiroth may not know what to do next, but the fervor with which Genesis kisses into him, pushes his tongue into Sephiroth's mouth, nips at his lower lip, it brooks no hesitation. Sephiroth shuts his eyes and allows Genesis to take the lead. His heart beats faster, his pulse thrumming in his ears. It's desperate, and raw, and yearning, as if the two of them were wild teenage rookies barely out of basic, and not two of the most powerful men on the planet.

Sephiroth breaks apart from Genesis and whispers, gasps, "I always wanted this, Genesis. I always wanted you."

Genesis doesn't even remember his theories of Sephiroth being a virgin (yes, of course, he thought about it), his brain doesn't seem to process anything more than what's happening right in that instant: Sephiroth kissing back, letting him guide. Genesis can feel how his heart beats and he swears they are synchronized.

Words are spoken aloud, without shame. They seem too much. Can he believe this? Genesis laughs short and breathlessly.

(He curses, a part of him does. Because always? always? And yet it happened now when Genesis is rotting, falling apart, when he has nothing to offer and Sephiroth nothing to feel but pity)

For now, only for now, Genesis moves forward through the poison in his mind.

"You have me," he declares. "Do I have you?"

"Yes," Sephiroth whispers. "You have me. All that I am."

Maybe even more so than that moment in the reactor at Nibelheim - this is Sephiroth's absolute point of no return. In their chaotic escape from Nibelheim, Sephiroth had stolen himself, had stolen Shinra's property. Now, to render the theft complete, he has fenced himself to someone else.

He reaches across, now holding Genesis's face between his hands. "Whoever your enemy is, I will destroy it. Whatever blocks your path, I will tear it down."

Genesis shivers under the weight of Sephiroth's words, what they mean. This is the only way Sephiroth knows how to live, but Genesis is different (is he?) he wants to be different.

He moves one hand to Sephiroth's hair, burying his fingers there until the fingertips touch the scalp, his grip strong, reassuring. He moves forward and bites Sephiroth's lower lip as if to seal a promise, dragging the gesture before speaking in a low growl:

"Good boy," Genesis says. "You aren't a weapon, not for me at least. And yet you'll be my sword."

Genesis bites into his lower lip. Sealing their promise with blood. It's rare that Sephiroth tastes his own blood, because it's rare that he bleeds - it's thrilling. And more thrilling yet are Genesis's words. Praise, and a promise that he could be more than a weapon.

This, this is why he has always wanted Genesis. Where others shrank before him, Genesis only ever saw Sephiroth as an equal, a rival, someone to overcome. And though Sephiroth would never just hand it to him, he always wanted to be overcome. For Genesis to overcome him. To prove that he was not untouchable. To touch him.

"Yes," Sephiroth whispers into him, kissing him again. He wants to hear that praise again. Even the grip in his hair, against his scalp, sends tingles through his body. That firm, steady touch reassures him.

How ironic it is, to have everything he wanted, when his time is running off. To stand beside Sephiroth as something more than comrades, when he can't raise above him for something as simple as to spar.

It's bitter. But Genesis is greedy and he'll take whatever he can.

He may not be at his strongest, yet he commands with authority, leaving his hand on Sephiroth's hair to hold him where he wants him, to kiss again, deep and wet until his body throbs with need, until it gets easier to ignore the sharp pain that's always there, starting from his shoulder and spreading all over his body. It doesn't matter.

This is the only thing that matters.

It's so easy to give in. To let Genesis take the lead.

(He has always been so charismatic, the most loyalty-inspiring from among the SOLDIERs First Class. That's why he was able to bring half the SOLDIER program with him when he left. He has a magnetism, a strong personality, that seems to warp the world around it. It is easy to fall in love with him. Easy to believe what he says.)

For a long moment, he could not say how long this went on, Sephiroth kisses Genesis, lets him press his lips to his, rake his teeth with his tongue. Only this moment seems to matter. A moment of quiet in his head, of not needing to think. Why think, when he could feel?

But -

His hand snakes over to Genesis's shoulder, to hold him closer, and Sephiroth feels Genesis flinch beneath his touch. He doesn't stop kissing, but the sudden movement reminds Sephiroth that Genesis is injured there, and more to the point, he is injured now, and had come here to rest.

Sephiroth pulls back, hesitantly. "I - I shouldn't," he stammers. He shouldn't be selfish. He shouldn't prioritize his needs over Genesis. "You should get some rest."

The moment is shared. Genesis stops thinking about his degradation, about everything he has lost. For a moment, he forgets about his bitterness, even the envy remaining in his poisoned heart is subdued by the texture of Sephiroth's lips.

It doesn't last, and Genesis resents Sephiroth for it.

The pain is just a second thought by now. Genesis doesn't notice himself flinching but does hear the hesitation in Sephiroth's voice. He wouldn't want things to escalate, why would he? When Genesis isn't more than a corpse undressing would mean having to face how his body rots...

"Already having second thoughts? I thought you could stomach more than this."

Sephiroth blinks. "What are you talking about?" What does he mean, 'stomach?' The sudden bite in Genesis's words makes Sephiroth worried he's done something wrong. "I'm not having second thoughts. I just...

"...It's true that this is my first time, doing... something like this," he admits. "Any... intimate contact." No, focus - this is about Genesis! Sephiroth straightens his back, but he still hasn't risen from his kneeling position. "But - more to the point. You should be resting. I shouldn't be selfish. I'm sure we'll have time after you rest to... talk about this."

There's the flicker of light of interest in Genesis' eyes because of Sephiroth's admission. But yet, he adverts his gaze, redirecting his attention to a point in the wall that doesn't have Sephiroth's face.

"Such a noble reason," he scoffs. "I wonder if you're telling me the truth, or just soothing the sensibilities of a dying man."

Well, now Sephiroth is becoming somewhat exasperated. He cocks his head to the side slightly. His eyebrows draw together. "Genesis, do you think I am the kind of man to... 'make out' with you for ten minutes out of pity?"

It feels alien to hear Sephiroth say the words "make out", it almost distracts him from his self pitying spiralling. And it's true, Sephiroth just promised to be his. To tear down everything in Genesis path, so he could move forward.

Is he being... Non reasonable?

He looks elsewhere, making sure his bangs obscure his expression.

"And yet I'm a dying man." A pause. "But I know you're above pity."

"I am," Sephiroth bluntly agrees. He brushes a few strands of Genesis's hair away from his face, but Genesis turns his head.

Genesis was always prideful.

Sephiroth instead traces down Genesis's arm, bringing his hand up, and, holding it reverently, kisses it.

"If you are dying... all the more reason to seize time while we have it," he says, softly.

but what if the sword kills the pen? // GENESIS HAS SOFT SKILLS AU

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