herobox | but what if the sword kills the pen? // GENESIS HAS SOFT SKILLS AU

"Am I an human being...?"

Sephiroth asks and Genesis knows the answer. He has been waiting for this moment, repeating the words again and again, the truth he holds over his rival, his friend, his... But Sephiroth sounds raw and vulnerable in a way that makes his something between Genesis' ribs twist. He knows Sephiroth, he would dare to say he knows him better than anyone. Angeal didn't engage in petty rivalries, didn't share the spirit of challenge like they did. Angeal didn't burn for him as Genesis did, still does...

Standing there, waiting for his moment to interrupt, he remembers how the fire suddenly became poison and the jealousy still feels like bile on his throat, the same as the pulsing pain on his shoulder, growing impossible to ignore with each day. It was his own sword, and it could have been almost funny if it didn't become a tragedy so fast.

A tragedy indeed...

But there was more. So much more.

It wasn't always envy, or desperation. The desire of wanting to live knowing he was doomed in favor of the person he once idolized. He wants to claw the life out of Sephiroth and drink it all for himself. But it wasn't always like that and that glimpse, that flash of something broken and fearful in Sephiroth reminds Genesis that...

That everything he wanted, once, was to share an apple with him. The forbidden fruit. And those feelings only grew stronger once he was able to meet the real him. And now there he is, at his most vulnerable. Holding the salvation Genesis craves. It would be so easy to snatch that heart for himself.

'I could make you love me,' Genesis thinks. 'Need me, before I disappear."

It's just a couple of seconds after Sephiroth says those words, but Genesis' mind and heart work faster.

He flies into the scene, the scenario is all his. There's other way he can do this, and all eyes are on him.

"You're the one who gets to decide that, old friend."

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Genesis shivers under the weight of Sephiroth's words, what they mean. This is the only way Sephiroth knows how to live, but Genesis is different (is he?) he wants to be different.

He moves one hand to Sephiroth's hair, burying his fingers there until the fingertips touch the scalp, his grip strong, reassuring. He moves forward and bites Sephiroth's lower lip as if to seal a promise, dragging the gesture before speaking in a low growl:

"Good boy," Genesis says. "You aren't a weapon, not for me at least. And yet you'll be my sword."

Genesis bites into his lower lip. Sealing their promise with blood. It's rare that Sephiroth tastes his own blood, because it's rare that he bleeds - it's thrilling. And more thrilling yet are Genesis's words. Praise, and a promise that he could be more than a weapon.

This, this is why he has always wanted Genesis. Where others shrank before him, Genesis only ever saw Sephiroth as an equal, a rival, someone to overcome. And though Sephiroth would never just hand it to him, he always wanted to be overcome. For Genesis to overcome him. To prove that he was not untouchable. To touch him.

"Yes," Sephiroth whispers into him, kissing him again. He wants to hear that praise again. Even the grip in his hair, against his scalp, sends tingles through his body. That firm, steady touch reassures him.

How ironic it is, to have everything he wanted, when his time is running off. To stand beside Sephiroth as something more than comrades, when he can't raise above him for something as simple as to spar.

It's bitter. But Genesis is greedy and he'll take whatever he can.

He may not be at his strongest, yet he commands with authority, leaving his hand on Sephiroth's hair to hold him where he wants him, to kiss again, deep and wet until his body throbs with need, until it gets easier to ignore the sharp pain that's always there, starting from his shoulder and spreading all over his body. It doesn't matter.

This is the only thing that matters.

It's so easy to give in. To let Genesis take the lead.

(He has always been so charismatic, the most loyalty-inspiring from among the SOLDIERs First Class. That's why he was able to bring half the SOLDIER program with him when he left. He has a magnetism, a strong personality, that seems to warp the world around it. It is easy to fall in love with him. Easy to believe what he says.)

For a long moment, he could not say how long this went on, Sephiroth kisses Genesis, lets him press his lips to his, rake his teeth with his tongue. Only this moment seems to matter. A moment of quiet in his head, of not needing to think. Why think, when he could feel?

But -

His hand snakes over to Genesis's shoulder, to hold him closer, and Sephiroth feels Genesis flinch beneath his touch. He doesn't stop kissing, but the sudden movement reminds Sephiroth that Genesis is injured there, and more to the point, he is injured now, and had come here to rest.

Sephiroth pulls back, hesitantly. "I - I shouldn't," he stammers. He shouldn't be selfish. He shouldn't prioritize his needs over Genesis. "You should get some rest."

The moment is shared. Genesis stops thinking about his degradation, about everything he has lost. For a moment, he forgets about his bitterness, even the envy remaining in his poisoned heart is subdued by the texture of Sephiroth's lips.

It doesn't last, and Genesis resents Sephiroth for it.

The pain is just a second thought by now. Genesis doesn't notice himself flinching but does hear the hesitation in Sephiroth's voice. He wouldn't want things to escalate, why would he? When Genesis isn't more than a corpse undressing would mean having to face how his body rots...

"Already having second thoughts? I thought you could stomach more than this."

Sephiroth blinks. "What are you talking about?" What does he mean, 'stomach?' The sudden bite in Genesis's words makes Sephiroth worried he's done something wrong. "I'm not having second thoughts. I just...

"...It's true that this is my first time, doing... something like this," he admits. "Any... intimate contact." No, focus - this is about Genesis! Sephiroth straightens his back, but he still hasn't risen from his kneeling position. "But - more to the point. You should be resting. I shouldn't be selfish. I'm sure we'll have time after you rest to... talk about this."

There's the flicker of light of interest in Genesis' eyes because of Sephiroth's admission. But yet, he adverts his gaze, redirecting his attention to a point in the wall that doesn't have Sephiroth's face.

"Such a noble reason," he scoffs. "I wonder if you're telling me the truth, or just soothing the sensibilities of a dying man."

Well, now Sephiroth is becoming somewhat exasperated. He cocks his head to the side slightly. His eyebrows draw together. "Genesis, do you think I am the kind of man to... 'make out' with you for ten minutes out of pity?"

It feels alien to hear Sephiroth say the words "make out", it almost distracts him from his self pitying spiralling. And it's true, Sephiroth just promised to be his. To tear down everything in Genesis path, so he could move forward.

Is he being... Non reasonable?

He looks elsewhere, making sure his bangs obscure his expression.

"And yet I'm a dying man." A pause. "But I know you're above pity."

"I am," Sephiroth bluntly agrees. He brushes a few strands of Genesis's hair away from his face, but Genesis turns his head.

Genesis was always prideful.

Sephiroth instead traces down Genesis's arm, bringing his hand up, and, holding it reverently, kisses it.

"If you are dying... all the more reason to seize time while we have it," he says, softly.

Does Sephiroth even know what insecurities are? Probably not. He touches him and Genesis can't help but remember how dry and cracked his skin is.

He is dying.

And Sephiroth is so soft it shatters him.

"I agree" he looks at Sephiroth. "Then should we do more?"

"I think you flew me across an ocean this morning, and that you should sleep," Sephiroth says, in the firm tone of voice of an officer of the armed forces. "Our top priority is to keep you healthy."

Now his voice softens. He brings Genesis's hand to his cheek.

"And... maybe starting tomorrow, we can... pursue this. Whatever this is."

Genesis is honest to god close to pouting. But he wants to keep some sort of dignity, especially after almost falling head to the ground. Tch.

The contact against Sephiroth's skin helps. He helps. It's kind of terrible how much.

He nods, then searches Sephiroth's eyes.

"It's a bond," he clarifies. He doesn't think they are in a position to use categories like boyfriend, they aren't civilians who can play with sweet words and promises. But there are some things Genesis knows now.

"An unbreakable bond."

"Yes," Sephiroth replies, his eyes searching Genesis's in return, and finding that resolve. "An unbreakable bond."

but what if the sword kills the pen? // GENESIS HAS SOFT SKILLS AU

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