but what if the sword kills the pen? // GENESIS HAS SOFT SKILLS AU

[lovelessinner]

"Am I an human being...?"

Sephiroth asks and Genesis knows the answer. He has been waiting for this moment, repeating the words again and again, the truth he holds over his rival, his friend, his... But Sephiroth sounds raw and vulnerable in a way that makes his something between Genesis' ribs twist. He knows Sephiroth, he would dare to say he knows him better than anyone. Angeal didn't engage in petty rivalries, didn't share the spirit of challenge like they did. Angeal didn't burn for him as Genesis did, still does...

Standing there, waiting for his moment to interrupt, he remembers how the fire suddenly became poison and the jealousy still feels like bile on his throat, the same as the pulsing pain on his shoulder, growing impossible to ignore with each day. It was his own sword, and it could have been almost funny if it didn't become a tragedy so fast.

A tragedy indeed...

But there was more. So much more.

It wasn't always envy, or desperation. The desire of wanting to live knowing he was doomed in favor of the person he once idolized. He wants to claw the life out of Sephiroth and drink it all for himself. But it wasn't always like that and that glimpse, that flash of something broken and fearful in Sephiroth reminds Genesis that...

That everything he wanted, once, was to share an apple with him. The forbidden fruit. And those feelings only grew stronger once he was able to meet the real him. And now there he is, at his most vulnerable. Holding the salvation Genesis craves. It would be so easy to snatch that heart for himself.

'I could make you love me,' Genesis thinks. 'Need me, before I disappear."

It's just a couple of seconds after Sephiroth says those words, but Genesis' mind and heart work faster.

He flies into the scene, the scenario is all his. There's other way he can do this, and all eyes are on him.

"You're the one who gets to decide that, old friend."

Comments

[labgrownmessiah]

When Genesis says our room, Sephiroth thrills to hear it. Their room. Their bed. Where they can... well...

(Sephiroth has never thought about what two men might do, if they were lovers. He knows it's possible. He knows there are people who do it. But he has never... shall we say... researched further.)

He laughs. He tries to make it seem suave and not nervous. Genesis stroking his back is somewhat soothing. "Whatever you like," he says. He can pick it up from Genesis, surely?

[lovelessinner]

Genesis has started noticing when Sephiroth is anxious, or trying to mask something. In this case, that laugh, followed by Whatever it's too suspicious to ignore. Obviously he has thought about this, more than once in private and at night. He always thought Sephiroth would prefer an active role, and to make him submit would require a fight, to overpower him.

This is... different. Genesis doesn't know what to do with that much liberty, so he moves closer and kisses his jaw so that he can whisper to his ear.

"Isn't there anything you would like to try? Do you want to be in control, or to give control to me?"

sorry he's a virgin and has virgin thoughts

[labgrownmessiah]

Anything he would like to try...? Sephiroth thinks of Genesis maybe putting a hand on... on him, and the absolute unthinkability of it, the intensity of how Forbidden it is, brings an unmistakable and vivid blush to his cheeks, and across his pale shoulders and chest, the heat rising so fast that Genesis must surely feel it where his lips graze Sephiroth's skin, high on his cheekbones near his ear.

But in control - in control of what? Too late, Sephiroth realizes he has taken too long to answer Genesis. He has no idea what to say, and articulating his desire seems impossible to do without making a fool of himself. He opens his mouth. "U-um." His voice cracks. His body betraying him, his voice betraying him! His eyes dart towards the door. "M-maybe we could..."

Surely he is diminishing in Genesis's eyes with every word. Surely Genesis must be starting to realize that he is a fraud in every respect, including where he plays at being a man. He has to take the lead, he has to be in control! Suddenly, he dips, and scoops Genesis into his arms, bridal fashion. Maybe he can buy time to get them to the room. "Let's go to our room," Sephiroth declares, the flush still high in his cheeks, "and decide from there."

[lovelessinner]

Sephiroth's skin is warm. It's not only noticeable but Genesis can also feel it, with his lips against his jaw, this close, Sephiroth is sharing the warmth with Genesis. He smiles, is he that turned on already? He feels flattered and moves away to see...

Then his voice cracks, he seems to have problems finding the right words and he looks...

Oh?

Oh, Genesis is quickly connecting the dots. Has Sephiroth never...?

Before he can say anything about it, Genesis is being carried bridal fashion to their room. Hah! Well played, Sephiroth. He can't help but laugh, wrapping his arms around Sephiroth's neck, and whispering against his ear.

"Such a gentleman, I didn't know this side of yours."

[labgrownmessiah]

Genesis plays along with the pantomime of a husband and a wife - consummate thespian that he is - and Sephiroth gratefully carries him to their room. Although the bed consists primarily of a bare mattress on top of a couple of stacks of pallets, large enough for two men only if they embraced, that's enough, considering their circumstances.

Sephiroth lays Genesis down on the mattress first, and then steps back, as if to admire his handiwork. Genesis's color is up; he looks better than he did yesterday, after the exertion of their travel. The cracks in his skin are dull and flaking, but a night's rest and water have brightened his eyes. As Sephiroth's eyes rove Genesis, taking in the strands of gray in his hair, the way his coat sprawls beneath him on the bed - as they look him up and down, Sephiroth's gaze softens, warms. He is a little nervous, yes, but -

He has Genesis. Against all odds, out of the jaws of death, he has snatched him back.

Sephiroth blushes again, and the shadow of a smile plays about his lips. "What shall we do?" he asks.

[lovelessinner]

Sephiroth watches him— not with pity but with desire and Genesis is brought back to life. He rests his weight into his elbows, smiling at him with hunter. This is what he needed, to feel wanted, worshiped even.

Maybe that's why he stopped himself back then, that's why he took Sephiroth with him. Is the reason that important? Not now, his own hand traces a line on his chest where he wants Sephiroth's hands to be. His friend (rival, lover) is nerveous, and Genesis can intuit the reason.

"First, you come here. Then... don't you think we still have too many clothes?"

he's overthinking it

[labgrownmessiah]

Right. Clothes. Those should come off.

Sephiroth reaches down and removes his boots, kicking them away. He almost goes for his own trousers next; then, it occurs to him that it might be awkward for him to get completely naked before he had removed a single stitch of clothing from Genesis. Do people take off one item at a time?

(Hojo once made him watch some videos when he turned fourteen. You'd better learn how that thing functions, he'd said, with a horrible grin. I'm writing a grant for a breeding program in a few years. The man and the woman in the videos were already unclothed when the camera started rolling. It - no. No. He can't be thinking about this right now.)

(Sephiroth's hands hesitate above his waistband, tremble slightly as his thoughts seem to go somewhere else for a moment - then, he suddenly turns towards Genesis.)

He reaches for Genesis's jacket. The leather seems dried and flaky - perhaps a good treatment with a leather conditioner will make it shine again. Sephiroth presses his hands against Genesis's shirt below, and runs them under the flaps of his jacket, up towards his shoulders, down his arms, helping him to shuck it off without needing to sit up.

"Is that better?" Sephiroth asks.

[lovelessinner]

There's something crossing Sephiroth's mind, Genesis can tell. Something that isn't him and the brief thought makes him irrationally angry for a second. What could be more important right now? But then, the slight trembling of his hands, the way he changes the focus of his movements. Genesis exhales. He wants to know everything about Sephiroth, wants to understand so he can also be understood...

And the only way to do it isn't scaring him away.

"Much better," he adds with a whisper, gives Sephiroth a reassuring smile and pulls him closer, wrapping his arms around his neck and kissing him again as to distract him. Maybe he needs the distraction too, the scar on his shoulder ugly and thick, he feels it pulsing with the heat, and tries hard to ignore it by licking Sephiroth's mouth with hunger.

[labgrownmessiah]

Genesis pulls him closer, reassures him. His arms are warm around the back of Sephiroth's neck, and his mouth is warmer still. Sephiroth opens his mouth into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Genesis's waist in turn. He moves from Genesis's mouth, down his chin, kissing against his throat where Genesis breathes.

His hands trail down towards the other man's waistband. He flicks the belt open, and tugs the zipper open. Maybe he should... He saw, in one of the videos... He could...

He pulls Genesis's cock free and wraps his hand around the base. Leaning back, shifting back, Sephiroth flicks his bangs back, tucks them behind his ear with his other hand, and flashes Genesis a nervous but genuine smile.

"How about this?" he says, and he leans down to take it into his mouth.

[lovelessinner]

Oh. There truly is a goddess up in the skies, isn't it?

Genesis' cock throbs, as if it wasn't answer enough, he looks at Sephiroth with bright eyes, lips parted, reddened after the kissing, his whole body aching for more. Sephiroth is new at this, but he desires it enough to expose himself as not /perfect/ at something, and that fills Genesis with a fondness he didn't know he had space in his heart for.

But also it makes him so fucking horny.

"Perfect," he whispers, moving a hand to pet Sephiroth's hair as a form of encouraging him, showing him how good he is doing. "You are perfect," he says, and he doesn't mean a perfect monster or soldier. Just a lover, one who desires and wants, and Genesis is made of all those things.

He may be in love, he thinks when Sephiroth put his cock into his mouth.