Genesis Rhapsodos (
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but what if the sword kills the pen? // GENESIS HAS SOFT SKILLS AU
"Am I an human being...?"
Sephiroth asks and Genesis knows the answer. He has been waiting for this moment, repeating the words again and again, the truth he holds over his rival, his friend, his... But Sephiroth sounds raw and vulnerable in a way that makes his something between Genesis' ribs twist. He knows Sephiroth, he would dare to say he knows him better than anyone. Angeal didn't engage in petty rivalries, didn't share the spirit of challenge like they did. Angeal didn't burn for him as Genesis did, still does...
Standing there, waiting for his moment to interrupt, he remembers how the fire suddenly became poison and the jealousy still feels like bile on his throat, the same as the pulsing pain on his shoulder, growing impossible to ignore with each day. It was his own sword, and it could have been almost funny if it didn't become a tragedy so fast.
A tragedy indeed...
But there was more. So much more.
It wasn't always envy, or desperation. The desire of wanting to live knowing he was doomed in favor of the person he once idolized. He wants to claw the life out of Sephiroth and drink it all for himself. But it wasn't always like that and that glimpse, that flash of something broken and fearful in Sephiroth reminds Genesis that...
That everything he wanted, once, was to share an apple with him. The forbidden fruit. And those feelings only grew stronger once he was able to meet the real him. And now there he is, at his most vulnerable. Holding the salvation Genesis craves. It would be so easy to snatch that heart for himself.
'I could make you love me,' Genesis thinks. 'Need me, before I disappear."
It's just a couple of seconds after Sephiroth says those words, but Genesis' mind and heart work faster.
He flies into the scene, the scenario is all his. There's other way he can do this, and all eyes are on him.
"You're the one who gets to decide that, old friend."
Sephiroth asks and Genesis knows the answer. He has been waiting for this moment, repeating the words again and again, the truth he holds over his rival, his friend, his... But Sephiroth sounds raw and vulnerable in a way that makes his something between Genesis' ribs twist. He knows Sephiroth, he would dare to say he knows him better than anyone. Angeal didn't engage in petty rivalries, didn't share the spirit of challenge like they did. Angeal didn't burn for him as Genesis did, still does...
Standing there, waiting for his moment to interrupt, he remembers how the fire suddenly became poison and the jealousy still feels like bile on his throat, the same as the pulsing pain on his shoulder, growing impossible to ignore with each day. It was his own sword, and it could have been almost funny if it didn't become a tragedy so fast.
A tragedy indeed...
But there was more. So much more.
It wasn't always envy, or desperation. The desire of wanting to live knowing he was doomed in favor of the person he once idolized. He wants to claw the life out of Sephiroth and drink it all for himself. But it wasn't always like that and that glimpse, that flash of something broken and fearful in Sephiroth reminds Genesis that...
That everything he wanted, once, was to share an apple with him. The forbidden fruit. And those feelings only grew stronger once he was able to meet the real him. And now there he is, at his most vulnerable. Holding the salvation Genesis craves. It would be so easy to snatch that heart for himself.
'I could make you love me,' Genesis thinks. 'Need me, before I disappear."
It's just a couple of seconds after Sephiroth says those words, but Genesis' mind and heart work faster.
He flies into the scene, the scenario is all his. There's other way he can do this, and all eyes are on him.
"You're the one who gets to decide that, old friend."
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For a second, Genesis is speechless. Does Sephiroth trust him? Even after everything? A part of him expected his old friend to refuse, to mock him, so Genesis could turn that rejection into poison and strike back. But Sephiroth is there, at some level willing to protect him against Shinra (because that's what Angeal's puppy is, in the end, a filthy Shinra lapdog.)
Something warm washes over his wounds, open for so long. He could to this, they could work together.
But then Sephiroth's demeanor changes and Genesis realizes a second thing. That monster, Jenova, it stands between them.
He moves towards Sephiroth, blocking the view, and extending his hand with a well known purple apple.
Sephiroth, young and so different from Shinra's propaganda, comes to his mind. A boy seeking for his mother. He used to have a necklace, he once told Genesis, but didn't say how he lost it. How was she, anyway? He asked, and Sephiroth shrugged. She looks like you, Genesis wants to tell that kid now, having seen the portrait on the mansion.
The truth could free him or condemn him and it's all on Genesis.
"That thing isn't your mother," he finally decides. "Come with me, let's search for her. I will tell you everything, but I need your help to survive."
He offers him the apple. The fruit of knowledge.
"My friend, do you fly away now? To a world that abhors you and I?
Truth is a burden, but it can free us. We can be more than this, we don't have to be chained to a script. Listen to me, Sephiroth!"
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That thing isn't your mother.
It -
Ever since he was young, Hojo had told him his mother's name was Jenova. Though he hasn't possessed her picture for years, the image is burned into his mind: A woman in a white coat, turning towards the camera, her eyes soft and brown and kind, her hair pulled into a high ponytail. Surely a human woman. It wouldn't - it wouldn't make sense for a human woman to be ensconced within a mako reactor, not even by Hojo's unethical standards. And what would human blood have to do with monsters, anyway? Even Gillian's role in Project G had to do with the normal cycle of human birth; no one had imprisoned her in a reactor.
But the idea is so strong. He can almost hear her - the time has come, help me, free me, come to my side, my son - but, surely, surely she couldn't be imprisoned here with no other imprisoners, right? That thing isn't your mother - if Jenova is a name that signifies something else, and Hojo lied and told Sephiroth his mother was Jenova -
To hide her from him. Of course. It's so simple. So stupid. So that any research Sephiroth might be able to do would lead him in circles, lead him to - to what? A beast in a reactor core? A program? An AI? But it - his head throbs again, and that image rises up - his mother, crying - but what if she needs him, she needs him, she's calling him -
"Listen to me, Sephiroth!"
Genesis's voice cries out, cuts across his racing thoughts, dispels the image again, fizzling into static.
They could search for her together. Shinra... lied. Hojo lied. Genesis had discovered truths about himself that lay hidden - and now he is offering to help Sephiroth do the same. Depending on what happens... The lighting surrounding the reactor door frames Genesis like a halo of soft white light, rendering him angelic. He holds out a Banora White. His favorite prop.
Sephiroth... reaches his hand out. Touches the apple, but does not take it yet. His hand rests against it, his fingers brushing Genesis's own. "I..." he says, his voice faltering. "I need to know. I need to know the truth."
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Genesis answers with ease. He wanted to know too, desperately, the reason behind his torment. Even if the truth was a blade, it was better than living a lie. He is the only one who can understand Sephiroth, and Sephiroth is the only one who can understand him.
It's Genesis the one who drops the apple, the prop, the theater of it all to talk with honesty, taking Sephiroth's hand on his.
"Save me, and let me save you."
His mind is already working on a plan, he has to show him the picture in the manor, tell him about the J cells, but away from this cursed place. Just the two of them.
It feels like something shattering, but for good. He almost can see it playing before his eyes in a different way, the Genesis ruled by his wound speaking with venom and driving Sephiroth away from him.
No, he needs him. If he ends up perishing anyway, he wants Sephiroth to remember.
"Come with me, there's something I want to show you."
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(That feeling in his heart, that sometimes rose up when they would spar, is rising again, the one he always crushed back down. That unnameable, unspeakable feeling.)
Suddenly, the walls aren't closing in. Suddenly, the pipes are again inert objects. It is as though a clear, bright wind had rushed through, blown the shadows away. Depending on what happens...
Without turning his head, or looking away from Genesis, or pulling his hand away, Sephiroth speaks. "SOLDIER First Class Zack Fair," he says, pitching his voice so that it can be heard.
Behind him, he hears Zack say faintly, softly, "Don't..."
(He doesn't look at him. He knows he might lose his nerve if he did. Another cowardly burden Sephiroth has unloaded onto Angeal's protege. Zack didn't want to slay Angeal. He didn't want to kill Genesis. He doesn't want to have to fight Sephiroth in the future. All of the men who went before him, peeling away - for a moment, Sephiroth thinks he should bring Zack with them, bleed Shinra of its entire force. But - the infantryman and the young woman wait outside. Someone has to remain to escort them back down the dangerous mountain path.)
"I hereby resign my commission in the Shinra Armed Forces. I retain no rank. I dishonorably discharge myself, on suspicion of collusion with the traitor Genesis Rhapsodos." His eyes do not leave Genesis's face as he speaks. He wants to see him. "You are now the ranking SOLDIER operative on this mission. The reactor has been serviced."
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Genesis whispers his name like a plea, like a secret but never a lie. Sephiroth did it, he deserted. Shinra is the only thing he has ever know, and Genesis is taking him away from it. He suddenly feels both possessive and protective. Angeal wouldn't join him, wouldn't listen, and he died before it was due because of him. Sephiroth is both untouchable and made of glass.
But he is Genesis'
Their hands are still joined and his expression softens, it looks like relief. It makes Genesis look younger, better even with the degradation. His wing flutters and above them black wings softly fall.
"Let's go, my friend. Let's get out of this cursed place."
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But wing or no wing, Genesis can't very well fly them directly out of a sealed room in the heart of a mountain. In fact, it's hard to say if Genesis could fly them anywhere at all - with his degradation, did he even have the strength to bear the two of them (with Sephiroth's size and weight) anywhere? On one wing?
Sephiroth squeezes Genesis's hand. "Let's leave," he agrees, and turns, one hand still in Genesis's, holding hands as though they were children. (As though they were...)
Zack Fair stands in the doorway to the outside.
Sephiroth pauses. He wasn't sure whether Zack would have regained the ability to stand at this point, after a head injury like that. Perhaps his skull is thicker than the average SOLDIER. He watches the man carefully, warily. Zack...
Zack...
...replaces his sword at his back, and holds his hands up, in a soothing gesture, as though talking down a flighty chocobo. "Alright," he says, "I get it."
He gets it?
And then, of all things, Zack exaggeratedly winks. "I get it. You're pretending to join Genesis to get him to let his guard down, and then we'll arrest him. Good thinking, Sephiroth!"
Sephiroth opens his mouth, he thinks to correct the man, but the strangeness and audacity of this interaction stuns him into silence, leaving his mouth open like some slack-jawed idiot.
Zack glances at a point over Sephiroth's shoulder, possibly making eye contact with Genesis, and then continues: "It's a good thing he agreed to come quietly, so we can keep Cloud and Tifa safe on our way back down Mt. Nibel, too. Especially since I'm still a little dizzy. I might be so dizzy that I'd have to lie down immediately after we get back to town, so it would be up to the ranking officer on this mission to take him formally into custody." He gives a smile, one that is calculated to look innocent but shows too many teeth. "You didn't say anything that would change that about a minute ago, did you? Because I didn't hear anything."
It is in this moment that Sephiroth realizes how Angeal came to be so enamored of this kid.
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He looks at Sephiroth, puzzled for a second. There it goes his dramatic exit. Obviously, Genesis had total faith on his ability to fly away carrying his extremly tall friend, no matter how much he has degraded by now.
But it looks like Zack The Puppy has other ideas. He's ready to fight his way out when he speaks and...
Again. What's going on?
Genesis looks at Sephiroth, can they trust him? Is this another of Shinra traps? But Sephiroth looks... relaxed. Almost pleased. And when Genesis turns around to look at Zack Fair, they both seem to see the same thing for a moment: This really is Angeal's pupil. And he was the better judge of character of them three.
The gift of the goddess, indeed. Maybe a big exit, a grand closure act, isn't what they need, but something small, a gesture of solidarity. Compasion.
"Very well," he answers. "You better keep a close eye on me, Sephiroth," Genesis adds with a sly smile.
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"It seems I must," he replies.
They retreat through the reactor. Zack follows behind them, possibly not wishing to be attacked from the back again. Sephiroth can understand that. As they go further and further from the reactor core, Sephiroth's headache subsides to a dull ache. He calms down. His thoughts aren't racing so quickly, so forcefully, and that whole-body anxiety - like a grip around his heart, like whispers at the edge of his hearing, like shadows flickering at the edge of his sight - is bleeding out of him. He can only presume it was the leaking mako in there. He has never been sickened from mako exposure in his life, but perhaps a long day of environmental exposure and slashing the tubes to the pods open himself had sent his body over the edge.
As they emerge from the reactor, into the late afternoon sun, the infantryman turns from his position at the base of the stairs, and moves to salute Sephiroth - then, upon catching sight of Genesis, he locks up for a second, before pulling his gun out and training it on him. Sephiroth impatiently waves him off. Zack just said his name, but Sephiroth has already forgotten it (somewhat shameful of him, who normally takes care to learn the names of the soldiers he commands), so eventful has the day been. "At ease," he says.
"S'all good, Cloud!" Zack calls out from behind them. (Ah, yes, Cloud Strife, that was it. Sephiroth should try not to forget again.) "We've apprehended him! Noooo worries! All right, let's get off this rock, I'm starving!"
The guide - Tifa - is incredibly suspicious, and asks a number of probing questions, but Sephiroth lets Zack take the lead in fending her off with "top secret! company stuff! normally we'd get a chopper out for extraction but it's your lucky day, 'cause we're walking! you know how to 'not see' stuff, right?" and focuses on Genesis.
He realizes he's still holding his hand.
"Not quite the exit you had imagined, is this?" Sephiroth asks, giving him a wan smile.
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He let's them play their roles to their hearts content, doesn't add much so he doesn't destroy Zack's efforts. It would be so easy to antagonize these kids, it's almost funny, but he stops himself from causing more damage. That's also new.
Sephiroth speaks and Genesis' focus once again gravitates towards him. A magnetic pull, organic and familiar...
Familiar like something he has never done, but feels as if he had done it so many times. Like the sensation of joined hands. Ah, there it is. They are still...
Genesis smiles back and feels like his skin cracks below the pressure of his lip's movement. A real smile, long forgotten. Is it weakness? He shouldn't forget his anger, but Sephiroth's hand is warm even with the gloves.
"Not at all, and yet... Maybe is the right thing. A quiet exit, for a brighter future."
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"No," he says, quietly, seriously. "This is the calm before the storm."
There is no way the company would allow their three-million-gil investment to leave. Zack's words contained an implicit promise: this truce lasted until they reached the village, with all parties safe. This truce lasted until Zack went to sleep, and woke up. He would not attack them without explicit orders as such - but he would not remain without such orders for long. Further, Zack himself was endangered by the company they kept - Cloud could testify to his collusion, as could the girl.
(The girl in question keeps turning around unsubtly, looking at Sephiroth and Genesis's joined hands, and then turning back around. The things that are no doubt fermenting in her brain could fuel the tabloids for a year and a day. Sephiroth could have mitigated the damage by letting go of Genesis's hand, like a sensible man. But he doesn't want to. He feels like some sort of mindset has been unlocked, liberated from him, since the reactor core - he feels petulant, unruly. He wants to rebel. He wants to kick Shinra's applecart over. He wants them to gossip, he wants them to speculate, he wants them all to say and think the worst. He wants to take the design doc in Hojo's office that describes what Sephiroth is allowed to look like, and dress like, and speak like, and burn it. He wants the image of Sephiroth the War Hero to be in ruins by the end of the week, as though it had never been.)
Realistically, a military leader who was on the verge of defecting to the enemy would kill everyone present to witness and glass the local village, to cover his tracks. The smartest thing to do would be to burn Nibelheim to the ground to buy a few days. But - Genesis promised the truth. He says he has something to show Sephiroth, something he came here for.
Besides. Zack's little friend and their intrepid guide live here. Sephiroth would not repay their loyalty and their courage that way. It still sits heavy on his heart, that they lost the other man in the river. Genesis had won him with compassion - he would pay that forward.
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"It may be, but don't forget we are the eye of the hurricane."
Shinra couldn't stop him alone, with Sephiroth? They will be unstoppable. The idea fills him with energy, one he has been lacking since the degradation started getting even more cruel. If the world seeks my destruction, he said once, it goes with me. Now, they could burn Shinra to the ground, make them pay—
It's the feeling of Sephiroth's hand on his that stops Genesis from getting lost in dreams of revenge. He hasn't let go; he won't let go. And Genesis won't let go either. If it's some kind of challenge, a competition of who gets cold feet first, Genesis refuses to lose. Besides, the girl's face is hilarious. What would the world say, about the Hero Sephiroth being this intimate with a traitor?
The idea exhilarates him even more than his revenge plot. He intertwines their fingers, even. Genesis finds that the bile that he has been swallowing since he deserted, doesn't taste as strong now.
He moves closer to Sephiroth, closer than he ever dared before.
"So, what's the plan, General?" Should they kill them? Burn this ugly town? Take prisoners? Genesis is listening to suggestions.
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"We can't enter the town proper," he says in an undertone. The wash of the river churns to the side of the path here, and below them, and masks quiet conversation. They would have to shout to be heard by Zack, tailing them at a respectful distance (again, Zack deciding he would rather not show Genesis his back), or Cloud and Tifa, leading the group.
Unlike Tifa, Cloud Strife has not turned around once, his shoulders so tight that they almost stand to lift his helmet off his head. Already a nervous personality, he is clearly Very Aware that this situation is the kind of irregular that might get him on the nightly news, if he is unlucky.
Sephiroth continues, "We can break off to enter the mansion. But at that point, I think you get to tell me what the plan is, considering I just resigned my commission."
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Weird. He hasn't felt like that in ages. He has been drowning for so long, he distantly thinks that if this doesn't pull him out, he will take them both to the ocean's abyss.
And yet, Sephiroth's hand is still warm. Genesis doesn't even register the cadet. The girl is funny, and Zack is someone Genesis even thinks about calling by his full name. That's all.
"Not General anymore? Hn, that's exciting," he's still close, he wants to live like that. "Don't you worry, Sephiroth. I know where to start, and for the rest... there's art in improvisation as well."
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"I do have a plan," Genesis answers back, exaggerating how offended he feels by the truth. "It just lacks some steps."
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"First, just answer me this: where have you been laying low in this area, and what was it that you wanted to show me?" Sephiroth already heavily suspects that Genesis was hiding in Shinra Manor, given that he has offered no resistance to walking Nibelheim-ward off the mountain. The locals avoid it, and there might even be a Shinra terminal inside. Genesis could have been spying on their comms for weeks.
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He isn't being cryptic on purpose. He's been a fugitive for way too long to just talk about his next steps in front of still-Shinra-employees and a girl with an awful fashion sense and unknown loyalties.
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"We burn the manor and - "
A sudden brrrraaat of gunfire snaps his head up. Cloud is firing on a Disgorgon that appeared at the edge of the trail, where they would have had to climb down along the sharp-edged rocks. Sephiroth sighs.
"Wait," he says, and leaps into action.
He runs forward, dashes, past the two at the front, not even bothering to verbally warn Cloud not to fire - the bullets would only strike his reinforced duster, and Sephiroth's body would not be severely damaged by their force, not from a standard issue Shinra machine gun. Better to keep the fiend pinned for even that extra second - but Cloud manages not to hit him. Sephiroth unsheathes Masamune with a force that cracks the air, an iaido-based strike; the blade has no sheath to produce the pressure except the crease of Sephiroth's knuckles, reinforced on the inside of his gloves with armor specially designed to this very purpose.
One strike breaks its jaw; another severs the tendons in its neck; a third slashes between its eyes. The beast falls dead, already steaming with corrupted mako.
Sephiroth turns, reversing his grip on Masamune, to see Cloud snap to attention once more. He's trembling like a leaf. "S-sir!" he yelps.
Sephiroth nods at him, already striding back. "Good instincts," he says, clapping him on the shoulder as he passes.
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Gunshots.
The sudden noise startles Genesis. Abruptly, he understands the situation. It was a trap, an ambush, Sephiroth lied so he could kill him. But no, it's even worse, he called for reinforcement so he wouldn't have to do it with his own hands. Coward and a liar. Compassion doesn't exist and Genesis will make sure that they die together—
Oh. He's wrong.
It's just that stupid cadet having trouble with a monster Genesis could kill with his bare hands. Sephiroth moves forward to help him and Genesis can't help to stare. He's not happy about it, they should be equals, friends, rivals! Genesis is past the age of idolizing and yet he can perfectly understand the awestruck expression of the cadet.
"Please," he purrs, moving towards Sephiroth, making sure to tail him until he's between him and the cadet. "I didn't know you still wanted the hero's role. Unless it was to make me jealous?"
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"Uuuuuuuugh, fine," Zack complains, striding forward to breeze past Sephiroth and their "captive," up to the front where the young officer and Tifa are. "Nice shooting, Cloud, why don't I give you two a hand?"
The girl whips around on the security officer. "'Cloud?'" she repeats. This starts an apparently very serious verbal altercation up front, one that continues as they walk. They are almost to the base of the foothills now.
A perfect opportunity to get away.
Sephiroth pulls Genesis aside as soon as they reach the last supply station (or first, if they were going up), which is mere tens of meters away from the woods that crowd the back side of the Manor. They could slip over the fence to the back of the building and avoid being seen by anyone in the village at all.
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It looks like something is happening between these... random and non-relevant persons on the front. Genesis is about to suggest they sneak away when Sephiroth pulls him aside (manhandling much, general?).
Finally.
He signals the fence with his head, expecting Sephiroth to understand, and moves forward to what will be their hideout and then, a pile of burned, forgotten wood.
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"Come on," he says, stepping into the Manor.
The Manor is dark, and cobwebbed in the corners. Not so around the floors, though, indicating at least someone had passed through recently. Genesis, again. Sephiroth looks around. A large table, set as though a large family was just preparing to sit to dinner. A pile of notebooks on one table. Sephiroth turns as Genesis enters behind him.
"Where to?"
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The Manor is as he remembers it, as he left it.
"Hm, actually, we're in the right place," Genesis comments, walking past the table to search for something a bit more hidden. Something you can find only if you're searching for it.
A portrait. He takes it with both hands, his gloved thumb taking care of the dust that obscures the woman's features. A woman of brown hair and sad eyes, just beside a man they both know well.
He extends it to Sephiroth.
"Does she look familiar?"
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My mother's name was Jenova -
- but that's also -
Endure the pain, Sephiroth -
Sephiroth seizes the portrait, his eyes roving over it. His fingers grip the old wood of the frame, squeezing, squeezing. His eyes scan across it again, and again, as though it might update itself to something else if he keeps looking at it. His expression shows a flash of emotion - relief, concern - before closing down. His mouth is set in a line. His eyes grow more and more distant.
Finally, he turns away, holding the portrait. He sets it down on the dining room table. There are slight divots in the wood where his fingers had held the frame. He breathes once, twice. He turns back to Genesis.
He bears a small smile. Like the one he wears in the field. In front of the cameras.
Then he says a word that he has never said in the field, or in front of the cameras. That he possibly has not said anywhere.
(His vocabulary was also in the design doc.)
"That motherfucker."
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"Quite literally, my old friend."
He moves towards the picture, analyzing it briefly, pointing out something obvious.
"A lab coat. She must have been in the science department as well. Still, there isn't any register of a woman named Jenova," he knows, since he spent so much time with Hollander, searching for any clue, threatening any scientist he could put his hands over, reading top secret files about project G. He knows quite well how the department worked by now.
"Lucrecia Crescent is the only woman registered in the department, besides Gillian."
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