[ Lea listens to this solemnly. He hadn't been able to bring himself to answer Myde's initial questions, not even if he'd limited himself to saying, yes, Xigbar too. Especially that one. It touched too closely to things Lea can't let himself think about. It was too paralyzing. These thoughts had their power, their own serpent-gaze that could hold you in place.
Those two--and even Roxas..... they didn't even hesitate at all.
He hadn't known how Demyx had died, not really. At that point, he was on the run - at that point, of course, he was Axel, who wasn't given to caring much about the fate of anyone not Roxas or himself. He'd guessed it was around the timeframe of the siege of Hollow Bastion, just from the scraps of information he could get.
And if Myde's talking about Donald and Goofy, he can't possibly be talking about Roxas, logically speaking.
(Could that really have been Sora? Not to even hesitate? Lea is stalling; he knows the answer, knows it by three cracked ribs and the first time he saw Roxas' brow furrow when they spoke because Axel had lied and lying was wrong - he knows that lots of people don't seem to understand that the innocent can hold the most anger, strike the hardest, look back the least. He knows that if Sora thought he was facing a monster, nothing would have stayed his blade. Not words, or tears, or bargains, or pleas, not when he thought they were a sham and there was no convincing proof otherwise.)
((Lea remembers three nights after they survived the dream, before Sora left with Donald and Goofy for his half of their long mission, Sora wrapping himself in a blanket emblazoned with the King's seal and trying not to cry into a late-night cup of hot chocolate. They had hearts, he'd said to Lea, and Lea saw that anger turn inward for the first time since he'd ever seen the kid. Saw that anger turn in on itself and rot into uncertainty. Xigbar said. He knew. Xemnas knew. His hands shaking violently around a chipped mug. And how could we have...
Lea had nothing better to offer than a hand on Sora's shoulder. He didn't say what he was thinking, that if they (himself deeply included) couldn't see it for themselves, Sora couldn't be expected to see it for them.))
Lea slides back into the hot tub himself when he sees Myde go in. Hey, he paid for a night at this place, he might as well enjoy himself. He also turns back and calls to a passing busboy for a couple more obnoxious cocktails. He's going to need another drink for this conversation. ]
'M sorry... I mean, you know. I wasn't involved in that decision, but... [ He might have tried to force an awkward laugh, but he wasn't feeling it. It would have seemed too much like the old days. Forced, empty laughter, and people always seeming to say things with the wrong timing, or the wrong context, or in the wrong way.
Lea wants to say sorry for real, wants to ask why Demyx was given "that fight," wants to know... but at the same time, he doesn't. He doesn't have the right to know, he who was the instrument of the loss of Castle Oblivion. He and Sora both, to be honest.
He had meant to say something after "but," something meaningful or helpful in some way, but he's got nothing. ]
no subject
Those two--and even Roxas..... they didn't even hesitate at all.
He hadn't known how Demyx had died, not really. At that point, he was on the run - at that point, of course, he was Axel, who wasn't given to caring much about the fate of anyone not Roxas or himself. He'd guessed it was around the timeframe of the siege of Hollow Bastion, just from the scraps of information he could get.
And if Myde's talking about Donald and Goofy, he can't possibly be talking about Roxas, logically speaking.
(Could that really have been Sora? Not to even hesitate? Lea is stalling; he knows the answer, knows it by three cracked ribs and the first time he saw Roxas' brow furrow when they spoke because Axel had lied and lying was wrong - he knows that lots of people don't seem to understand that the innocent can hold the most anger, strike the hardest, look back the least. He knows that if Sora thought he was facing a monster, nothing would have stayed his blade. Not words, or tears, or bargains, or pleas, not when he thought they were a sham and there was no convincing proof otherwise.)
((Lea remembers three nights after they survived the dream, before Sora left with Donald and Goofy for his half of their long mission, Sora wrapping himself in a blanket emblazoned with the King's seal and trying not to cry into a late-night cup of hot chocolate. They had hearts, he'd said to Lea, and Lea saw that anger turn inward for the first time since he'd ever seen the kid. Saw that anger turn in on itself and rot into uncertainty. Xigbar said. He knew. Xemnas knew. His hands shaking violently around a chipped mug. And how could we have...
Lea had nothing better to offer than a hand on Sora's shoulder. He didn't say what he was thinking, that if they (himself deeply included) couldn't see it for themselves, Sora couldn't be expected to see it for them.))
Lea slides back into the hot tub himself when he sees Myde go in. Hey, he paid for a night at this place, he might as well enjoy himself. He also turns back and calls to a passing busboy for a couple more obnoxious cocktails. He's going to need another drink for this conversation. ]
'M sorry... I mean, you know. I wasn't involved in that decision, but... [ He might have tried to force an awkward laugh, but he wasn't feeling it. It would have seemed too much like the old days. Forced, empty laughter, and people always seeming to say things with the wrong timing, or the wrong context, or in the wrong way.
Lea wants to say sorry for real, wants to ask why Demyx was given "that fight," wants to know... but at the same time, he doesn't. He doesn't have the right to know, he who was the instrument of the loss of Castle Oblivion. He and Sora both, to be honest.
He had meant to say something after "but," something meaningful or helpful in some way, but he's got nothing. ]