[ Juudai wasn't sure how many potential retorts he'd had poised on the tip of his tongue. He'll never know, really. They vanish in the instant Kaiser's mouth hits his - and hits really is the proper word for it, they collide with such intensity. It takes Juudai a few seconds (or minutes, or nanoseconds, he's processing time kind of weird right now) to realize what is even happening, what this is: Kaiser holding him by the shirt, pulling him into this kiss that seems to last forever, hard and aching and not actually a shameful in-class daydream but real, realrealreal and it is his.

Juudai can feel Kaiser's hands trembling through his shirt.

And then they break apart and Kaiser is saying I can get you out, and Juudai stands there, struck dumb, struck numb, feeling like he is drowning. Or has already drowned. ]

Don't -

[ The word is tiny as it leaves his mouth, not decisive or strong the way he wanted it.

He grabs Kaiser's arm. ]

I wanted -

[ This is all wrong, it's happening all wrong, Juudai doesn't know what he wants, whether he wants to be angry or to be stoic or to brush it all off with a smile like he used to be able to do (but that was before three hundred volts had scored the fear of death around his neck like a noose), whether he wants to blame Kaiser for not saving him or himself for not saving Kaiser or the both of them for falling into hell, whether he wants to go or - ]

to go with you.